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Is there a thing called KARMA?

‘Karma (Karman, Sanskrit)  This is a noun-form coming from the root kri meaning “to do,” “to make.” Literally karma means “doing,” “making,” action. But when used in a philosophical sense, it has a technical meaning, and this technical meaning can best be translated into English by the word consequence. The idea is this: When an entity acts, he acts from within; he acts through an expenditure in greater or less degree of his own native energy. This expenditure of energy, this outflowing of energy, as it impacts upon the surrounding milieu, . . . brings forth from the latter perhaps an instantaneous or perhaps a delayed reaction or rebound. Nature, in other words, reacts against the impact; and the combination of these two — of energy acting upon nature and nature reacting against the impact of that energy — is what is called karma . . . Karma is, in other words, essentially a chain of causation, stretching back into the infinity of the past and therefore necessarily destined to stretch into the infinity of the future. . . .
    ’Karma is in no sense of the word fatalism on the one hand, nor what is popularly known as chance, on the other hand. It is essentially a doctrine of free will, for naturally the entity which initiates a movement or action — spiritual, mental, psychological, physical, or other — is responsible thereafter in the shape of consequences and effects that flow therefrom, and sooner or later recoil upon the actor or prime mover.
    ’Since everything is interlocked and interlinked and interblended with everything else, and no thing and no being can live unto itself alone, other entities are of necessity, in smaller or larger degree, affected by the causes or motions initiated by any individual entity . . . An example of this is seen in . . . family karma as contrasted with one’s own individual karma; or national karma, the series of consequences pertaining to the nation of which he is an individual; or again, the racial karma pertaining to the race of which the individual is an integral member.
    ’Karma cannot be said either to punish or to reward in the ordinary meaning of these terms. Its action is unerringly just, for being a part of nature’s own operations, all karmic action ultimately can be traced back to the kosmic heart of harmony which is the same thing as saying pure consciousness-spirit. The doctrine is extremely comforting to human minds, inasmuch as man may carve his own destiny and indeed must do so. He can form it or deform it, shape it or misshape it, as he wills; and by acting with nature’s own great and underlying energies, he puts himself in unison or harmony therewith and therefore becomes a co-worker with nature as the gods are.’ (OG 82-3)

    ’[Karma is] the Ultimate Law of the Universe, the source, origin and fount of all other laws which exist throughout Nature. Karma is the unerring law which adjusts effect to cause, on the physical, mental and spiritual planes of being. As no cause remains without its due effect from greatest to least, from a cosmic disturbance down to the movement of your hand, and as like produces like, Karma is that unseen and unknown law which adjusts wisely, intelligently and equitably each effect to its cause, tracing the latter back to its producer. . . .
    ’[T]hough we do not know what Karma is per se, and in its essence, we do know how it works, and we can define and describe its mode of action with accuracy. We only do not know its ultimate Cause, just as modern philosophy universally admits that the ultimate Cause of anything is “unknowable.” . . . We describe Karma as that Law of re-adjustment which ever tends to restore disturbed equilibrium in the physical, and broken harmony in the moral world. . . .
    ’[O]ur present lives and circumstances are the direct results of our own deeds and thoughts in lives that are past. But we, who are not Seers or Initiates, cannot know anything about the details of the working of the law of Karma. . . . Belief in Karma is the highest reason for reconcilement to one’s lot in this life, and the very strongest incentive towards effort to better the succeeding re-birth.’ (Key 201, 205, 216)

    ’[T]he only decree of Karma — an eternal and immutable decree — is absolute Harmony in the world of matter as it is in the world of Spirit. It is not, therefore, Karma that rewards or punishes, but it is we, who reward or punish ourselves according to whether we work with, through and along with nature, abiding by the laws on which that Harmony depends, or — break them.
    ’Nor would the ways of Karma be inscrutable were men to work in union and harmony, instead of disunion and strife. For our ignorance of those ways — which one portion of mankind calls the ways of Providence, dark and intricate; while another sees in them the action of blind Fatalism; and a third, simple chance, with neither gods nor devils to guide them — would surely disappear, if we would but attribute all these to their correct cause. With right knowledge, or at any rate with a confident conviction that our neighbours will no more work to hurt us than we would think of harming them, . . . two-thirds of the World’s evil would vanish into thin air. Were no man to hurt his brother, Karma-Nemesis would have neither cause to work for nor weapons to act through. . . . [T]here is not an accident in our lives, not a misshapen day, or a misfortune, that could not be traced back to our own doings in this or in another life. If one breaks the laws of Harmony, . . . one must be prepared to fall into the chaos one has oneself produced. . . . [M]an is himself his own saviour as his own destroyer [and] need not accuse Heaven and the gods, Fates and Providence, of the apparent injustice that reigns in the midst of humanity.’ (SD 1:643-4)

    ’The Law of KARMA is inextricably interwoven with that of Re-incarnation. It is only the knowledge of the constant re-births of one and the same individuality throughout the life-cycle . . . that can explain to us the mysterious problem of Good and Evil, and reconcile man to the terrible and apparent injustice of life. . . .
    ’[The law of karma] predestines nothing and no one. It exists from and in Eternity, truly, for it is ETERNITY itself; and as such, since no act can be co-equal with eternity, it cannot be said to act, for it is ACTION itself. It is not the Wave which drowns a man, but the personal action of the wretch, who goes deliberately and places himself under the impersonal action of the laws that govern the Ocean’s motion. Karma creates nothing, nor does it design. It is man who plans and creates causes, and Karmic law adjusts the effects; which adjustment is not an act, but universal harmony, tending ever to resume its original position, like a bough, which, bent down too forcibly, rebounds with corresponding vigour. If it happen to dislocate the arm that tried to bend it out of its natural position, shall we say that it is the bough which broke our arm, or that our own folly has brought us to grief? . . . KARMA is an Absolute and Eternal law in the World of manifestation; . . . for Karma is one with the Unknowable, of which it is an aspect in its effects in the phenomenal world.’ (SD 2:303-6)

    ’Those who believe in Karma have to believe in destiny, which, from birth to death, every man is weaving thread by thread around himself, as a spider does his cobweb; and this destiny is guided either by the heavenly voice of the invisible prototype outside of us, or by our more intimate astral, or inner man, who is but too often the evil genius of the embodied entity called man. Both these lead on the outward man, but one of them must prevail; and from the very beginning of the invisible affray the stern and implacable law of compensation steps in and takes its course, faithfully following the fluctuations. When the last strand is woven, and man is seemingly enwrapped in the net-work of his own doing, then he finds himself completely under the empire of this self-made destiny. It then either fixes him like the inert shell against the immovable rock, or carries him away like a feather in a whirlwind raised by his own actions, and this is — KARMA.’ (SD 1:639)

    ’Ceaseless in its operation, [karma] bears alike upon planets, systems of planets, races, nations, families, and individuals. It is the twin doctrine to reincarnation. . . . No spot or being in the universe is exempt from the operation of Karma, but all are under its sway, punished for error by it yet beneficently led on, through discipline, rest, and reward, to the distant heights of perfection. . . . Applied to man’s moral life it is the law of ethical causation, justice, reward and punishment; the cause for birth and rebirth, yet equally the means for escape from incarnation. Viewed from another point it is merely effect flowing from cause, action and reaction, exact result for every thought and act. . . . It is not a being but a law, the universal law of harmony which unerringly restores all disturbance to equilibrium. . . . Karma is a beneficent law wholly merciful, relentlessly just, for true mercy is not favor but impartial justice. . . .
    ’No act is performed without a thought at its root either at the time of performance or as leading to it. These thoughts are lodged in that part of man which we have called Manas — the mind, and there remain as subtle but powerful links with magnetic threads that enmesh the solar system, and through which various effects are brought out. . . .
    ’Karma is of three sorts:
    ’First — that which has not begun to produce any effect in our lives owing to the operation on us of some other karmic causes. . . . [T]hat person who has a wide and deep-reaching character and much force will feel the operation of a greater quantity of karma than a weaker person.
    ’Second — that karma which we are now making or storing up by our thoughts and acts, and which will operate in the future when the appropriate body, mind, and environment are taken up by the incarnating Ego in some other life, or whenever obstructive karma is removed. . . .
    ’Third — that karma which has begun to produce results. It is the operating now in this life on us of causes set up in previous lives in company with other Egos. And it is in operation because, being most adapted to the family stock, the individual body, astral body, and race tendencies of the present incarnation, it exhibits itself plainly, while other unexpended karma awaits its regular turn.
    ’These three classes of karma govern men, animals, worlds, and periods of evolution. . . . [Karmic causes] operate upon man in his mental and intellectual nature, in his psychical or soul nature, and in his body and circumstances. . . . And just as all these phases of the law of karma have sway over the individual man, so they similarly operate upon races, nations, and families. . . .
    ’With reincarnation the doctrine of karma explains the misery and suffering of the world, and no room is left to accuse Nature of injustice. . . . Individual unhappiness in any life is thus explained: (a) It is punishment for evil done in past lives; or (b) it is discipline taken up by the Ego for the purpose of eliminating defects or acquiring fortitude and sympathy. . . . Happiness is explained in the same way: the result of prior lives of goodness.
    ’The scientific and self-compelling basis for right ethics is found in these and in no other doctrines.’ (Ocean 100-9)

    ’No man but a sage or true seer can judge another’s Karma.’ (Echoes 1:315)

    ’[Karma] means action. In its widest sense it is that great law of Nature recognized by all as the law of cause and effect, not only on the physical plane but on the mental and spiritual planes as well. . . . The entire moral color of the world would change if men believed in Karma in the moral realm as firmly as they believe in its action in the physical. . . . Karma is the harvest of the good seed you have sown as well as the tares or weeds. . . . The harvest of both good and evil may be long delayed, though it is always certain, for “Tomorrow thou shalt reap, or after many days.” . . .
    ’Let us remember we are today the sum of our yesterdays. Karma is no more Fate than the harvest of the seed we have sown. Learn to meet your Karma with equal-mindedness. Learn from it those lessons which it teaches and which both enlighten and bless. . . . The inner divine Self can daily and hourly exert an inherent, direct power to modify the results of the past. We can rise upon our past, making even our vices, when placed beneath our feet, stepping-stones to higher things. . . .
    ’Those who seek to excuse themselves from helping the needy by saying “It would interfere with his karma” are not living rightly. They cannot realize the truth of Universal Brotherhood; they cannot truly believe that all are parts of a great whole and that one member of the body cannot suffer without the other members also suffering. . . .
    ’Because mistakes and misdeeds bring suffering, it does not follow that all suffering is caused by sin and error. . . . [T]he Helpers of Humanity . . . suffer “in holding back with strong hands the heavy Karma of the world” through coming close to those they would help. But in that suffering there is triumphant joy in helping those who are weak and needy. Helping and sharing is indeed the basic law of the universe. . . .
    ’[T]he religion which alone will fitly correspond to our innate religious nature will be a universal system of human brotherhood based on the knowledge that we are essentially divine; a system that will warm our hearts with the knowledge that there is nothing outside ourselves that can save or damn us; that it is we ourselves who alone must and can work out our own salvation.’ (WoH 82-4, 79)

    ’[T]he doctrine of Karma is but another way of expressing the multiform and all-various activities of existence — of the Universal Life: for the action of Karma is universal. Nor can we call Karma either conscious or unconscious. It is neither good nor bad, never had a beginning, never will have an end. Its action in a sense is purely automatic, for, reduced to final principles, it is but the indirect functioning of the consciousness in the core of the core of every being. . . .
    ’Karma has sometimes been called the “law of ethical causation,” and in one aspect it can indeed be so called. But such a phrase deals with only one part of the operations of Nature and omits mention of the universal sway or sweep of karmic activity. Karma “rules” the so-called “inanimate” world fully as much as it does the hearts and minds of men, and of course when we say “rules” we employ popular phraseology. Strictly, Karma no more “rules” or “governs” or “directs” than does the automatic action of the ocean the ebb and flow of the tides, for Karma is not an originating power exterior to the acting entity or thing. So far as individuals are concerned, it is the indwelling consciousness of the acting entity which originates and sets in motion the operation of Karma. . . .
    ’Nature is harmonious throughout. Its heart is harmony itself; and an action by an entity in the hosts of animate beings which make Nature, is subject to the reaction of the surrounding weight of the Universe upon it, moving to restore the equilibrium disturbed by such action. And this combination of the action of an originating consciousness and a reaction upon it is Karma. . . . Thus, . . . there is nothing fatalistic about the doctrine of Karma. It is action originating in the free will and consciousness of some entity which induces the reaction of Nature.’ (HPBM 194-6)

    ’Everything is an agent of karman; but . . . do not think that karman is an abstract law or entity outside of us. Karman is whatever is. . . . The Elementals cause it. Humans cause it. The gods cause it. [It] is the adjustment between action and reaction; action originated by and in some entity, the reaction abiding in surrounding lives which react against the act. That is all there is to it. There is no such thing as karman existing apart from entities. . . There are no “laws of Nature” apart from entities which act. It is the acting entity which produces or originates karman. Karman, therefore, is the entity itself in the last analysis.’ (Dia 3:46-7)

    ’Karma is not a law made by something or somebody. . . . [It] is the habit of universal and eternal nature, a habit inveterate, primordial, which so works that an act is necessarily . . . followed by an ineluctable result, a reaction from the nature in which we live.’ (FEP 537, 158; see also 172-3)

    ’We ourselves are our own karman. And this is precisely what the Lord Buddha meant when he said that there is no such thing as a personal or individualized soul which is eternal. It is the man’s karman that lives, the man himself, the continuation of the chain of causation which any human being is. . . . Man is his own creator, his own redeemer . . .’ (Dia 1:402)

    ’There is karma of many kinds: mental, physical, emotional, vital, astral, physical; and there is individual or personal karma as well as collective karma. We have to partake of the karma of the world, of our race, our family, our solar system, and of our universe, because we have put ourselves where we are — none else. . . .
    ’When man has reached quasi-divinity because he has become at one with the divine-spiritual nature of his own hierarchy, he is no longer under the sway of the general field of karmic action in that hierarchy. He has become a master of its life, because he is an agent of its inmost impulses and mandates. Thus it is that a man may rise above the karmic sphere in which he finds himself, while remaining within the hierarchical karma of cosmic Being.’ (FSO 413- 4)

    ’Everything is the fruit of a precedaneous cause, and this precedaneous cause cannot touch any individual unless that individual was the producer of that cause, originally or intimately connected with the production of that cause. . . . Karman governs all things with infinite justice, for it is the establishment of the law of harmony; and we with our feeble human understanding cannot always easily see how, when a thing is past and done let us say ten million years ago, harmony can be re-established ten million years later. But [we] must remember that our conceptions of time are pertinent to the time-sphere in which we live. . . .
    ’There is such absolute justice in this universe that an act cannot be committed, a thought thought, or an emotion experienced, without its due and orderly consequences. . . . When we see something happen we cannot understand, we say accident. That is merely expressing our ignorance of what the past was. But it could not have happened to that man unless that man had been in the past, either in this life or in some other life, in some way entangled in causes which brought the fruiting of those causes about now. . . . Either this, or we live in a crazy world without law and order, and where chance and fortuity and accidents can happen. . . . [W]hile this body knows that it has an accident, the imbodying ego knows it was the result of karmic justice . . .’ (SOP 296-7)

    ’[K]arma means: what you sow you reap, not something else. What your present living is determines your state of consciousness after death and what you will be in your next life and succeeding lives. . . . [W]e are treasuries of the past. . . . You cannot wipe out a day or a year or a month of that past. It is all builded into you in your present.’ (SOP 350)

    ’[W]hen a thought has once left the mind, it is impossible to withdraw the energy with which we have charged it; for then it is already an elemental being, beginning its upward journey. Still, if “neutralizing” thoughts of an opposite character are immediately sent forth . . . the two then coalesce, and the effects of the evil ones are made “harmless” . . . By thinking a noble thought or doing a good deed, following upon an evil impulse, although we cannot recall the evil thought or action and undo it, we can, to a certain extent, render at least less harmful the evil that our wrong thought or act brought about.’ (FSO 35-6)

    ’Both health and disease are karmically the consequences of the characters and tendencies which we ourselves have impressed upon the life-atoms composing the various sheaths in which we, the human egos, are clothed during earth life: impressed upon them by our thoughts, our feelings, our desires and our habits. . . . Disease, therefore, is the working out of karma, for everything that comes to a man is the consequence, the flowering, of seeds sown in the past. . . . [I]t is the form of selfishness called passion, whether conscious or unconscious, which is the fruitful cause of disease — unconquered violent passion, such as hatred, anger, lust, etc. Any such passion, mental or physical, shakes the lower constitution of man . . . A disease should be understood as a purifying process because the end will be a cleansing. . . . Diseases actually are warnings to reform our thoughts and to live in accordance with nature’s laws.’ (FSO 403-6)

    ’There is no escape from the consequences of an act once done, of a thought once thought, or of an emotion once liberated; for exactly what ye sow that shall ye reap again, until ye learn through bitter experiences the fundamental lesson of life, which is the bringing of the self into ever greater harmony with the Cosmic Self which in its ethical aspect we may likewise speak of as impersonal Cosmic Love.’ (ET 656)

    ’Let not the fruit of good Karma be your motive; for your Karma, good or bad, being one and the common property of all mankind, nothing good or bad can happen to you that is not shared by many others. Hence your motive, being selfish, can only generate a double effect, good and bad, and will either nullify your good action, or turn it to another man’s profit. . . . There is no happiness for one who is ever thinking of Self and forgetting all other Selves.
    ’The Universe groans under the weight of such action (Karma), and none other than self-sacrificial Karma relieves it . . . [D]o as the gods when incarnated do. Feel yourselves the vehicles of the whole humanity, mankind as part of yourselves, and act accordingly.’ (CW 11:168-9, quoted from the masters)

    ’Our philosophy has a doctrine of punishment as stern as that of the most rigid Calvinist, only far more philosophical and consistent with absolute justice. No deed, not even a sinful thought, will go unpunished; the latter more severely even than the former, as a thought is far more potential in creating evil results than even a deed. We believe in an unerring law of Retribution, called KARMA, which asserts itself in a natural concatenation of causes and their unavoidable results. . . .
    ’What we believe in, is strict and impartial justice. Our idea of the unknown Universal Deity, represented by Karma, is that it is a Power which cannot fail, and can, therefore, have neither wrath nor mercy, only absolute Equity, which leaves every cause, great or small, to work out its inevitable effects. . . . [A] man who, believing in Karma, still revenges himself and refuses to forgive every injury, thereby rendering good for evil, is a criminal and only hurts himself. As Karma is sure to punish the man who wronged him, by seeking to inflict an additional punishment on his enemy, he, who instead of leaving that punishment to the great Law adds to it his own mite, only begets thereby a cause for the future reward of his own enemy and a future punishment for himself.’ (Key 140, 199-200)

    ’[C]ompare our Theosophic views upon Karma, the law of Retribution, and say whether they are not both more philosophical and just than [the] cruel and idiotic dogma which makes of “God” a senseless fiend; the tenet, namely, that the “elect only” will be saved, and the rest doomed to eternal perdition! . . .
    ’[T]he Doctrine of Atonement [is a] dangerous dogma . . . which teaches us that no matter how enormous our crimes against the laws of God and of man, we have but to believe in the self-sacrifice of Jesus for the salvation of mankind, and his blood will wash out every stain. . . . See how the ledger-balance of Christian justice (!) stands: Red-handed murderers . . . kill their victims, in most cases, without giving them time to repent or call on Jesus. These, perhaps, died sinful, and, of course — consistently with theological logic — met the reward of their greater or lesser offences. But the murderer, overtaken by human justice, is imprisoned, wept over by sentimentalists, prayed with and at, pronounces the charmed words of conversion, and goes to the scaffold a redeemed child of Jesus! . . . Clearly this man did well to murder, for thus he gained eternal happiness!’ (Key 215, 223, 225-6)

    ’If we can do good to our fellows, that is their good Karma and ours also; if we have the opportunity to thus confer benefits and refuse to do so, then that is our bad Karma in that we neglected a chance to help another. The Masters once wrote that we should not be thinking on our good or bad Karma, but should do our duty on every hand and at every opportunity, unmindful of what may result to us. . . . We are bound up together in one coil of Karma and should ever strive by good acts, good thoughts and high aspirations, to lift a little of the world’s heavy Karma, of which our own is a part. Indeed no man has any Karma of his own unshared by others; we share each one in the common Karma, and the sooner we perceive this and act accordingly the better it will be for us and for the world.’ (Echoes 2:232) ‘[T]he indissoluble unity of the race demands that we should consider every man’s troubles as partly due to ourselves, because we have been always units in the race and helped to make the conditions which cause suffering.’ (Echoes 2:294)

    ’[K]arma must not be misconstrued to mean that we should ever remain passive or without compassion when others suffer or are in danger, on the wholly fallacious plea that: “Oh, it is only his karma . . .” Karma will . . . exact every atom of retribution for the passive attitude of him who sits idly by when another is in need of help.’ (FSO 420)

    ’[T]here is no time when a human being is not an agent of Karma, for in every act and thought we are carrying out Karma, making new Karma, suffering old Karma, or producing effects on other people, or all these together. . . . [I]f you assume to administer punishment, considering yourself a Karmic agent, it is more than possible that you are simply gratifying some old spite or ill-feeling . . . It is therefore more charitable, more wise, more kind, more theosophic to follow the words of Jesus, Buddha, and hosts of other Teachers which direct us to forgive our brother seventy times seven times, which tell us that charity covers a multitude of sins, and which warn us against the self-righteousness that might induce us to presume we have been raised up from the foundation of the world to correct abuses in other men’s actions rather than to attend to our own duty.’ (Echoes 2:310-11)

    ’There is no chance or fortuity in the Universe, and if anything could happen to us that we ourselves were not in some manner, near or distant, concerned with, or that we did not originate, then there would be gross injustice, fortuitous cruelty, and ground for genuine despair. We make our lives great and sublime, or mean and ignoble, and all stages between, because of what we ourselves think, feel, will, and therefore do. It is only the human physical man with his human soul which often suffers “unmerited” karmic retribution for what the Reincarnating Ego did in other lives; but for this “unmerited” suffering, Nature has provided ample recompense and reward in the devachanic interludes between lives . . .’ (ET 476-7fn; see 521-6)

    ’It [is] impossible that any person suffers or enjoys anything whatever except through Karma; whether we are in families, nations, or races, and thus suffer and enjoy through general causes, it is still because of our own Karma leading us to that place. In succeeding incarnations we are rewarded or punished according to the merit or demerit of preceding lives, and wherever it is stated in Theosophic books . . . that people are “rewarded for unmerited suffering” it always refers to the fact that a person does not himself perceive any connection between the suffering or reward and his own act. Consequently in Devachan he makes for himself what he considers a complete reward for any supposed unmerited suffering, but in his life upon earth he receives only that which he exactly merits, whether it be happiness or the opposite.’ (Echoes 2:316) ‘If [a person] were fully enlightened, of course he would see that all that had happened was just, and no unmerited suffering would exist in that case.’ (Echoes 2:320) ‘[I]f it is unjust to be punished for deeds we do not remember, then it is also inequitable to be rewarded for other acts which have been forgotten.’ (Ocean 84-5)

    ’[T]here is really no unmerited karma, but there is unmerited suffering to various parts of our constitution. To illustrate: I have free will. I strike out a new pathway in life because I receive an inspiration . . . I change my whole course of conduct. Can I do this without receiving reactions? Of course not. . . . [B]ut many of these effects are not deliberately planned by me, and in this sense the body receives unmerited suffering. Even the mind may receive suffering that it, as the mind-vehicle, did not merit. Viewed in this way we are always receiving unmerited suffering. But out of it all we learn, we grow stronger, we evolve more quickly. . . .
    ’[T]here is no such thing as unmerited karma if we mean uncaused at some time in the past by the individual unto whom it occurs. . . . [However,] there is indeed apparent injustice in the suffering that each personality unquestionably experiences, in that it must face the results of the misdeeds of its predecessor which it itself did not do. . . .
    ’Even the suffering of animals, whether due to human cruelty or neglect, or to other causes such as being preyed upon by other animals, is karma. . . . Their karma is to a great extent apparently unjust because they have not earned, morally speaking, the suffering that they endure. . . . Nevertheless the beasts are not wholly free from karmic responsibility, for every psycho-astral monad — the center around which the beast-body is built — is the reflection of a spiritual monad, coming out of past eternities of manvantaras in which that spiritual monad made for itself karma not exhausted when those manvantaras ended. And consequently these monads have come into the present manvantara with these distant karmic stains imprinted into the very fabric of their being. The same observation applies to the plant and to the mineral kingdoms. . . .
    ’[T]he unmerited sufferings of the animals can be traced to two causes: first, the actions done by them in this or in some earlier life; and second, the things they did in a previous solar manvantara. For . . . even the animals have been full-grown self-conscious entities in a former manvantara, which was must less evolved than this one . . .’ (FSO 416-9)

    ’When [an ego] is ready to reincarnate, it is drawn psychomagnetically, instinctually if you like, to the family, to the womb, most sympathetic to its vibrational rate. . . . It is not the parents who give the traits to the child. It is the child, bearing these traits within himself, that is attracted by sympathy of vibrational rates to the parents who will give him a body best fitted to express the character he already possesses in potentia . . .
    ’[H]ow is it that children born of the same parents sometimes differ not merely in small degree but even in very noteworthy degree? . . . It sometimes happens — and this is a paradox — that strong antipathies actually attract each other . . .
    ’When a man dies, he takes with him into the invisible worlds the essence of that character which he had been building for himself in the life just ended and in other lives before that. These attributes are called his skandhas . . . The reincarnating entity attracts them together again as it descends anew through the portals of birth, and as the child grows they gradually manifest themselves as his personality . . .
    ’In the last analysis we see that man inherits from himself. Heredity is character and character is heredity. And even in the case of the purely physical heredity, it can be said that man makes his own body, the parents merely providing the workshop and to some extent the materials with which it is built. The incarnating entity is the directing power behind the scenes. And environment is simply the magnetic field that we have chosen in which we may best work out those aspects of character that are the “dominant” for that particular incarnation. . . .
    ’Man . . . has free will. . . . He is building now what his character will be in his next incarnation . . . He is thus his own heredity, his own character, his own karma.’ (MiE 227-30)

    ’Every human being has more than a mere physical heredity; he has an astral, a psychical, an intellectual, a spiritual and, indeed, a divine heredity. Being the child of himself, and being at present the parent of what he will be in the future, his heredity is simply the resultant of the chain of causation flowing forth from what he was before on any plane.’ (FSO 395)

    ’There is an organ in the brain through which act the elemental karmic energies urging an individual into this or that pathway of action and thought and emotion. This has been called the “third eye,” or the “eye of Shiva,” and physically it is the pineal gland [cf SD 2:302] . . . [A]s we are naught but an expression of ourselves, of our karma on all the planes, we carve our own future as we have our present and past. We do this by will, by choice, by discrimination — all belonging to the higher part of us which functions as best it may through its own organ, the pineal gland. And this, as said, is as indissolubly connected with karma as it is with each of us, recording succeeding steps in choice and discrimination — or lack of these.’ (FSO 411-2)

    ’[T]he word lipikas means the “scribes.” Mystically, they are the celestial recorders, and are intimately connected with the workings of karma, of which they are the agents. They are the karmic “Recorders or Annalists, who impress on the (to us) invisible tablets of the Astral Light, ‘the great picture-gallery of eternity,’ a faithful record of every act, and even thought, of man [and indeed of all other entities and things], of all that was, is, or ever will be, in the phenomenal Universe” (The Secret Doctrine 1:104). Their action although governed strictly by kosmic consciousness is nevertheless rigidly automatic, for their work is as automatic as is the action of karma itself. . . . In one sense they may perhaps better be called kosmic energies . . .’ (OG 91; see FSO 216-9)

    ’[Nârada] is the mysterious guiding intelligent power, which gives the impulse to, and regulates the impetus of cycles, Kalpas and universal events. He is Karma’s visible adjuster on a general scale; the inspirer and the leader of the greatest heroes of this Manvantara.’ (SD 2:48)
    ’Sometimes he overshadows men of the proper psychological, spiritual, intellectual, and even physical temperament and works through them. These [are] Men of Destiny. They may not in themselves be even good men [but] they are used as instruments and tools to carry out, to bring to pass, certain things that are lying in the womb of time and must come out, and there must be a guiding spiritual power to see that the performing of these events shall take place without the complete wrecking of mankind. This is Nârada’s work: a protector of mankind and also an avenger. . . .
    ’[Nârada] is simply the agent of karmic destiny bringing about, for instance, the breaking up of old crystallized conditions which are becoming a spiritual opiate for mankind, or stopping things that are threatening to injure mankind. . . . In other words Nârada is a kind of Shiva, destroyer and regenerator, but his destructions are always beneficial, he is always on the side of liberty, absolute justice [and] progress. . . . [He is] an Archangel of Destiny, or a Dhyân-Chohan . . ., guiding mankind’s steps through tribulation and suffering from their own folly, towards freedom and wisdom and love . . .’ (FSO 690-5)

    ’Chafe not at Karma, nor at Nature’s changeless laws. But struggle only with the personal, the transitory, the evanescent and the perishable. Help Nature and work on with her; and Nature will regard thee as one of her creators and make obeisance. . . .
    ’Sow kindly acts and thou shalt reap their fruition. Inaction in a deed of mercy becomes an action in a deadly sin. . . . Shalt thou abstain from action? Not so shall gain thy soul her freedom. To reach Nirvâna one must reach Self-Knowledge, and Self-Knowledge is of loving deeds the child. . . . If thou would’st reap sweet peace and rest, Disciple, sow with the seeds of merit the fields of future harvests. . . .
    ’Learn that no efforts, not the smallest — whether in right or wrong direction — can vanish from the world of causes. E’en wasted smoke remains not traceless. “A harsh word uttered in past lives, is not destroyed but ever comes again.” The pepper plant will not give birth to roses, nor the sweet jessamine’s silver star to thorn or thistle turn.
    ’Thou canst create this “day” thy chances for thy “morrow.” In the “Great Journey,” causes sown each hour bear each its harvest of effects, for rigid Justice rules the World. With mighty sweep of never erring action, it brings to mortals lives of weal of woe, the Karmic progeny of all our former thoughts and deeds.
    ’Take then as much as merit hath in store for thee, O thou of patient heart. Be of good cheer and rest content with fate. Such is thy Karma, the Karma of the cycle of thy births . . .
    ’The Selfish devotee lives to no purpose. The man who does not go through his appointed work in life — has lived in vain. Follow the wheel of life; follow the wheel of duty to race and kin, to friend and foe, and close thy mind to pleasures as to pain. Exhaust the law of Karmic retribution. Gain Siddhis for thy future birth.’ (Voice 14, 31-2, 34-6)

    ’If the action of one reacts on the lives of all, . . . then it is only by all men becoming brothers and all women sisters, and by all practising in their daily lives true brotherhood and true sisterhood, that the real human solidarity, which lies at the root of the elevation of the race, can ever be attained. It is this action and interaction, this true brotherhood and sisterhood, in which each shall live for all and all for each, which is one of the fundamental Theosophical principles that every Theosophist should be bound, not only to teach, but to carry out in his or her individual life. . . . In every conceivable case he himself must be a centre of spiritual action, and from him and his own daily individual life must radiate those higher spiritual forces which alone can regenerate his fellow-men. . . .
    ’The individual cannot separate himself from the race, nor the race from the individual. The law of Karma applies equally to all, although all are not equally developed. In helping on the development of others, the Theosophist believes that he is not only helping them to fulfil their Karma, but that he is also, in the strictest sense, fulfilling his own. It is the development of humanity, of which both he and they are integral parts, that he has always in view, and he knows that any failure on his part to respond to the highest within him retards not only himself but all, in their progressive march. . . .
    ’Every mean and selfish action sends us backward and not forward, while every noble thought and every unselfish deed are stepping-stones to the higher and more glorious planes of being. If this life were all, then in many respects it would indeed be poor and mean; but regarded as a preparation for the next sphere of existence, it may be used as the golden gate through which we may pass, not selfishly and alone, but in company with our fellows, to the palaces which lie beyond.’ (Key 234, 236-7)

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Love Thyself

Rather than learning how to be tolerant of difficult feelings, many of us have learned only to avoid them… our inclination is often to run from our emotions because they carry with them the threat of destruction. Indulging ourselves in thinking as a protective alternative, we try to avoid our fear by staying aloof of our feelings.

What is self esteem?

  • Self esteem does not mean seeing yourself as the greatest person in the world.
  • It’s not the same as being conceited.
  • Healthy self esteem means liking yourself, for the most part, as you are.
  • You can have OK self esteem and still have occasional bouts of self doubt.
  • How you feel about yourself depends on who you compare yourself with.
  • Healthy self esteem means thinking as highly of yourself as you think of your peers.
  • Excessive self esteem = being over confident or complacent.
  • OK self esteem is compatible with humility.
  • Humility is not the same as self-effacement.
  • The right balance should place you mid-way between grandiosity and self-effacement.
  • To build and maintain healthy self esteem:
    • Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
    • Celebrate your strengths and achievements.
    • We are so used to negative feedback that we are more aware of our weaknesses.
    • Set achievable targets and get regular feedback.
    • Change the way you talk to yourself - stop putting yourself down.
    • Be sure that you are not judging yourself against unreasonable standards.
    • Beating yourself for your weaknesses is self-defeating

What is low self esteem?

Here are two basic low self esteem responses:

1. Feeling down on yourself

  • feeling overwhelmed by the pace of life
  • feeling like a failure relative to everyone else
  • constantly doubting whether you can achieve anything
  • staying where it’s safe, being afraid to try anything too new
  • behaving timidly and cannot assert yourself
  • overly depending on others to look after you
  • finding ways of escaping unpleasant realities
  • putting little effort into things because you doubt you can be successful
  • putting yourself down constantly
  • don’t like your looks - too fat, too slim, too short, too tall

2. Feeling angry and getting even

  • losing your temper at the drop of a hat
  • being quick to pick a fight
  • blaming others or circumstances for every setback
  • constantly finding fault with the world
  • being negative - nothing is good, everything is horrible
  • taking pleasure in stories about the troubles of others
  • taking things out on others
  • constantly arguing about petty issues

I don’t like myself! I have low, low self esteem!

  • This statement is an all-or-nothing, global judgement.
  • You’re saying you dislike EVERYTHING about yourself, there is NOTHING to like about you.
  • In fact, you’re unhappy about one or two of your traits and this is clouding your judgement about your many good qualities.
  • Have you tried making a list of all your likeable qualities?
  • Think of your strengths - all the things you find easy to do that others struggle to do.
  • Then there are the things you like doing - chances are you are good at them too.
  • Avoid discounting your strengths by saying ”That’s nothing.” or ”Anyone can do that.”
  • What about things you have done for others?
  • Ask your friends or family what they think you are better at than others.
  • Next, get out of yourself as much as you can - the more we dwell on ourselves and our problems the worse we feel about everything.
  • It can help to find a distraction - doing things we enjoy and are good at.
  • Recognize that there are really only one or two things you don’t like about yourself.
  • Then ask yourself whether there aren’t people worse off than you in these respects.
  • And think again about who you are comparing yourself with - do you really need to be the same as the people you most admire just to be likeable?
  • Most importantly , convince yourself that being likeable has nothing to do with WHAT or WHO you ARE, but rather how you treat others. You cannot change yourself, but you can change how you behave towards others - this is the real secret of being likeable.
  • Suppose, for example, you don’t like your looks. You defeat yourself if you moan and groan all the time about it, hence driving people away from you. If, instead, you focus on being nice to people, they will like you for that far more than they would even if you could wave a magic wand and change how you look.
  • Anyway, basing our confidence on looks is a losing strategy for happiness - it helps attract people in the first place, but for longer term happiness, it’s what’s inside us that counts.

What is healthy self esteem?

Healthy self esteem does not imply over confidence.

People who have an OK level of self esteem are:

  • confident without being overbearing
  • not devastated by criticism
  • not overly defensive when questioned
  • active and achievement orientated without being driven
  • mostly happy with themselves as they are
  • not easily defeated by setbacks and obstacles

They are also:

  • able to accept and learn from their own mistakes

    unlikely to feel a need to put others down

  • open and assertive in communicating their needs
  • self reliant and resourceful without refusing help
  • not overly worried about failing or looking foolish
  • not harshly or destructively critical of themselves
  • not aggressively driven to prove themselves - people with normal self esteem are happy with themselves as they are
  • able to laugh at themselves, not taking themselves too seriously

Are you happy? What is happiness?

  • People with low self esteem are unhappy with themselves.
  • You can have OK self esteem and still be unhappy.
  • This means that you like yourself but are unhappy with some of the circumstances of your life.
  • You could be unhappy with your relationships, career, finances, how you look, a recent setback, boredom, being criticized or any number of other factors.
  • But if you are unhappy your self esteem could be low as well - this is because we often blame ourselves when we are unhappy.

How to be happy

  • Unhappiness may be due to a specific circumstance in your life, but the feeling infects you completely.
  • It is hard to feel happy about some things and unhappy about others at the same time.
  • Small things can tip the scales to make us feel happy or unhappy.
  • We all have happy and unhappy moods - feelings that do not last long.
  • Often we shift from unhappy to happy just with the passage of time.
  • Or something happens to tip the balance towards a happy mood.
  • Something as simple as warm sunshine on a cool day or a refreshing breeze on a hot day.
  • But what if you are unhappy most of the time?
  • What can you do to shift yourself to a happier mood?
  • Unhappy people may have real problems with relationships, career, finances, etc.
  • Changing your circumstances might make you happier but this may not be very easy.
What else can you do?
  • Try to avoid dwelling on what makes you unhappy - but thinking alone won’t get you far.
  • It helps to be active - doing what makes you happy and taking more pleasure in them.
  • Even physical exercise can shift your brain chemistry towards a happier state. It’s all about getting out of yourself.
  • Try to take a different perspective on your life as a whole.
  • Imagine that you just arrived at your dream holiday destination.
  • Would you let the fact that your holiday has to end spoil your holiday?
  • What about mishaps and setbacks — short of being killed, seriously injured or mugged?
  • Would you not strive to enjoy your dream holiday in spite of minor mishaps?
  • Or would you waste your whole holiday feeling sorry for yourself?
  • If you thought of your life as a dream holiday, would you not seek to make more of it?
  • Why should you regard your life as the holiday of a lifetime?
  • But can you imagine the great things you would have missed if you had never been born?
  • Just being born is like winning the holiday of a lifetime.
  • You can view your life however you want. It’s your choice.
  • But if you have an negative attitude towards your life or circumstances, ask yourself if it isn’t your self esteem that’s a problem rather than your external circumstances.
  • It is easy to be defensive by dumping bad feelings on convenient external scapegoats.
  • Constantly criticizing everything around us helps us feel better about ourselves.
  • But this way of eliminating unhappy feelings is no better than abusing substances.
  • So, becoming happier requires being active, changing what we can change, accepting what we cannot change, trying not to blame others or circumstances for our misfortunes, valuing what we have and developing a more positive attitude to our lives
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Experiencing True Love and How To Appreciate It

Being in love is a wonderful thing, it is what can make a long drive to and from the office as well as a dreary day at the office bearable, knowing that we will be returning home to the loving of our family and our partner. We all have bad days in our lives where we sometimes forget the true meaning and importance of being in love and get carried away with the stresses and strains of day to day life. A terrible day at the office might result in us coming home and being short tempered with our partner un-necessarily and making a bad day even worse. Sometimes it is easy to forget that our partners are not just there to listen to us sound off about all that is wrong in the world and that they deserve a little bit of special attention from us where we can show our true appreciation for their patience and understanding. But what is the best way for us to show that appreciation and make our partner know that they truly are appreciated?

The art of surprise and spontaneity is always the king in these situations. A perfectly timed out-burst and show of true love will go a long way to right any wrongs and heal any wounds but the timing has to be right. The night after a large row with your partner is not the time to try to produce a show of love and spontaneity; this is a peace offering and can be a very hard situation to get right. If you have had cross words with your partner the night previous the situation is always best healed by sitting down and talking calmly about the situation and making the peace with words rather than gifts, words always mean more than gifts at these moments.

Being spontaneous is shows you are thinking about your partner when they would not necessarily think that you would be, imagine how you yourself feel when your loved one surprises you with a small gift or a show of affection when you least expected it, it is a wonderful feeling. It does not matter if the gift is of great value, as long as it shows that at some point in the day you were thinking enough about your partner to be able to go out of your way to buy something for them to show them that you were thinking of them. This could be anything from a small cuddly toy with a message on it, a bunch of flowers, a CD from their favourite musician or even a handmade greeting card just to say that you love them. It is not about the expense of the gift but the thought applied when buying it.

If you have some time on your hands, if your partner has been away on a business trip or just been working extra hard in the past few weeks, why not surprise him by making a handmade gift for your boyfriend. Again, this does not have to be anything extravagant just something that shows him that you were thinking of him. If you are not particularly handy when it comes to making handmade gifts for your boyfriend what about cooking his favourite meal as a special treat and helping each other to spend sometime together forgetting about the stresses and strains of life.

Being in love truly is a wonderful thing to experience but sometimes we do not appreciate quite how wonderful it is until we look back on what we had rather than what we now have. Make sure you make the most of what you have and allow your partner to do the same and hopefully you will be able to enjoy true love for many years to come.

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Is It True To Say That Love Comes and Goes?

Everything that has a beginning must definitely have an end. When it comes to love, the grave puts a period to a love shared and cherished for a long time. But this is not the case nowadays. Love has become like a passing wind, temporary. Is it true that love comes and goes? A strong and powerful attraction which is perceived to be love turns out to be the complete opposite. It is a misconception from the word go. This strong attraction is not love but lust. Once the desires of the loin are met, it marks the beginning of the end. Their is nothing to look forward to. It was just the heat of the moment. The passion is spent. The two souls part ways immediately. There is no reason whatsoever why they should stick together any longer. They shared nothing in common except lust. The moment it is fulfilled they go their separate ways. It was a marriage of convenience.

Incompatibility between couples is what creates a state of love come and go. The natural chemistry that brings cohesion and compatibility is lacking in this case. The couples are so different with diverse views, opinions, visions and ideologies that cannot be harmonized. They become like two people from different worlds, they are worlds apart. What was thought to be a minor hindrance that would solve itself within a short time span instead entrenches itself more. The differences between the couple become more evident and conspicuous by the day. Everyone is different in a unique way but the difference should not be an obstacle when it comes to dating and love. Love knows how to naturally deal with such problems. It accommodates them and makes them disappear. Love looks at the bigger picture.

Does love come and go? Infidelity in a relationship is a good recipe for this. It is lack of commitment by one partner. It kills the relationship with no alternative but to make the union a short lived affair. One principal in the relationship feels the other partner has betrayed the course and cannot bear the thought of staying with a traitor. The aggrieved partner cannot take cheating lying down. What lacks in the union that makes one partner to solicit it from another person? If concrete answers are not forthcoming, then the love which had come loaded with so many good things goes up in smoke. One partner feels his or her usefulness is no longer paramount. The usefulness that used to be there has now been outlived.

Irresponsibility by one partner in a relationship kills any hopes for the relationship to overcome its challenges. Alcoholism and a failure to take responsibility of affair affecting the family give justification to the love come and go scenario. These mostly affects men who turn alcoholic and become married to the bottle for better or for worse. They turn a blind eye when it comes to catering for the welfare of the wife and children. The man runs away from responsibilities. The wife sees no future in an alcoholic husband. She starts searching for a person who can give her a feeling of security. A man who does not hide and shy away from responsibilities and commitments.

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Does My Boyfriend Really Love Me? 4 BIG Signs That Answer the Question

The inquiry: “Does my boyfriend really love me?” is more than just a question. Its filled with doubt…it’s a question asked by a woman who’s in pain especially when she’s alone.

Both of them may be alright when together. They may be having a great time on the surface. But at the back of her head, she may be having doubts as to the genuine feelings of her man.

Whatever the reason for that doubt, it sure is hard to cope with it and here are 4 big signs that a woman, stuck in this situation, should be looking for. After this, you should be able to answer: “Does my boyfriend really love me?”

Does My Boyfriend Really Love Me? Sign 1:

Look at him, straight into the eyes, when he talks.

A man who’s sincere about what he’s saying, especially when expressing his feelings, will look straight into the eyes of their girlfriend. Does your boyfriend have the guts to look straight at you? Or is it the other way around?

Does My Boyfriend Really Love Me? Sign 2

A man who is truly in love with his partner will always make time for her.

Personal priorities take a backseat, especially when its their relationship on the line. Whenever you need him, he will always be around no matter what. Is your guy right beside you when you need him the most?

Does My Boyfriend Really Love Me? Sign 3

Men respect the people they love.

He will discuss with you some personal issues in which you’re the one involved. He will share with you his insights or opinions. But in the end, it boils down to your decision, and he’ll be there to back you up.

He will respect whatever path you take.

Does My Boyfriend Really Love Me? Sign 4

We all have our special days - it could be your first year anniversary, just your third month in the relationship, or it could be your birthday.

The bottom line is if you’re man loves you, there is no way he will forget a day which takes a special meaning for you. He will call you up, send you a message or a note, and he may even skip work just to show you that he never forgets that special day.

See these 4 big signs at work, or at least 2 of them, and that should set your mind at ease.

And lastly, why not be straightforward to him that you’re having this feeling of uncertainty? After all, if your boyfriend loves you, he will do what he’s capable to reassure you that he loves you.

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101 Romantic Gestures

These romantic gestures are quick and easy ways to show your love. Often times the most romantic gestures are the small acts we choose to do every day. This extensive list of 101 romantic gestures will help you be more creative in how you show your love.

1. Massage her feet

2. Clean her car

3. Stick a post-it love note in the kitchen

4. Snuggle

5. Make a romantic mix CD

6. Dance under the stars (with your mix CD playing from the car)

7. Hide love notes in her house and car (make sure she’ll find them fairly soon)

8. Have an undisturbed conversation (turn off phones, tv, computer etc.)

9. Light every candle you have to set a seductive, intimate mood

10. Pick up a pie or cake for dessert

11. Do the laundry

12. Write a message on the mirror with a bar of soap

13. Make a calender with photos of both of you together

14. Unwind with a glass of wine

15. Pick her up and carry her to the bed or couch

16. Complete her Honey-Do list

17. Download a new ring to her cell phone for your calls

18. Share things about your day (work, family, clients, events)

19. Restock the cabinets with her favorite food or drink (don’t forget to leave a note with it)

20. Hold hands

21. Change her oil

22. Give a sincere compliment

23. Go on a walk together

24. Run your fingers through her hair and give her a head rub

25. Go for a joy ride on a scenic road

26. Fold cloths during a game or on your tv show commercials

27. Change her computer screen saver to a love message

28. Cook a meal together

29. Do a slow dance after dinner

30. Kiss when you leave

31. Help her with a project

32. Thank her for a meal she cooked

33. Go grocery shopping together

34. Have a sunrise coffee date (even if it’s just from your deck or window)

35. Hold each other during a big storm

36. Put the toilet seat down (let her know you did it for her)

37. Slip a love note in her purse or work tote

38. Spend 30 mins power cleaning together and 30 mins passionately lovin

39. Waltz around the room during a commercial break

40. Kiss when you arrive

41. Make dinner for her

42. Say “I love you because ______”

43. Find out one of her fantasies and make it happen

44. Pay her a compliment in front of people you know

45. Make a “10 favorite memories together” list

46. Do yard work (shovel snow, rake leaves, mow, prune, plant)

47. Send a love ransom note with cut out letters

48. Spend time learning/doing her hobby with her

49. Stop at a scenic outlook enjoy the view and each other

50. Get a sensual game to play together

51. Take the garbage out

52. Put a love note with her lunch

53. Go on a bike ride or roller blade together

54. Bring her breakfast or coffee in bed

55. Open doors for her

56. Fix something

57. Leave some Hershey kisses on the pillow

58. Play if/then. If you ______, then I’ll ______

59. Tell her you are proud of her

60. Dance to a classic 80’s song

61. Carry her bags/boxes/books

62. Send a thinking of you email

63. Bake a cake and decorate it with a creative message

64. Act out her favorite love scene from a movie

65. Make a “10 things I love about you” list

66. Help with or do the dishes

67. Write a love note on her calender or in her planner

68. Collect a wild flower bouquet for her

69. Tell her you like her style

70. Kiss each of her finger tips

71. Send a romantic greeting

72. Give a midday call

73. Serenade her with a cheesy love song (in the privacy of your home)

74. Have a quickie somewhere new

75. Whisper sweet nothings in her ear

76. Take some scandalous photos together or of each other

77. Write a love message on the beach or in fresh snow

78. Set your alarm 15 minutes earlier and snuggle in the morning

79. Take a minute to enjoy the sunset together

80. Take a romantic bath

81. Pull out her chair before sitting

82. Give her a big, long hug

83. Make a favorite things about you list

84. Plant a tree or flowers together

85. Let her know that she is the perfect match for you

86. Vacuum, dust or clean the toilet

87. Leave a goofy love message on her phone

88. Experiment with chocolate body paints

89. Make an “I love the ways you love me” list

90. Rub each other down in the shower

91. Be her slave for a day

92. Make a cheesy love poem

93. Make a meal together

94. Pack something special with her lunch (kisses, a note, her favorite snack)

95. Have a breakfast date discuss your plans for the day

96. Take care of car maintenance (oil, tire rotation, check fluids)

97. Express appreciation for specific things she does for you

98. Massage her neck and shoulders

99. Make her a gift

100. Play footsie

101. Offer to help with anything

You may be really good at doing some of these romantic gestures. Use this list to pick up a few more romantic gestures and apply them to your relationship. Put your own twist on some of the ideas for a personal and unique romantic gesture!

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How To Get My Ex Back - 4 Things To Think About

When a break up happens…pain, guilt, resentment - they all flood to you and seem to last forever.

And the self-inquiry - how to get my ex back echoes all over your head.

No matter which side of the break-up you’re on, I understand the confusion and emotional burden that you’re going through right now.

As a helping hand, I’ll be spilling out some tips…or better yet guidelines that will help you in your quest to answer the question: how to get my ex back.

How To Get My Ex Back: Its Natural
Yes…it’s natural to feel great pain, anguish, guilt, or even blame yourself for what happened.

Don’t try to pretend that you’re not feeling a thing at all, as that would make the recovery a LOT harder than it has to be.

Acceptance is the very first step when you’re trying to figure out how to get my ex back. Cry it out of you have to - whether alone at your room or, much better, with your friends.

It’s a natural way to rid yourself of all the negativity and confusion that’s burdening you right now.

How To Get My Ex Back: Be Warned!
Here’s a very stern warning: no matter what…never ever take the anger to your ex if you want to re-build the passionate relationship that you once had.

Do that and your ex will feel threatened - scurrying away from you and killing any chances of fixing your broken bond.

I repeat do NOT take it out to your ex!

How To Get My Ex Back: Changes To Be Made
If you think that there’s something in you that drove your ex away, now is the time to critically and objectively think about it.

Missing out on this step is like blindly fixing your computer without even knowing where the problem lies. Any technician worth his salt knows that this could do more harm than good.

And guess what: the relationship you’re fixing isn’t some computer that you can replace so easily.

You don’t want to hit and miss.

How To Get My Ex Back: Talk To Your Ex
Finally talking to your ex should wrap things up.

Talking to your ex after you’ve fixed yourself and cleared your head of all the negativity has worked for me and my friends who’s had some relationship problems.

What to talk about?

Good question.

Steer away from topics that could be related to the break-up such as your ex’s feelings for you and the like.

Make it carefree and spend enjoyable time with your former partner. This works so WELL that I’ve seen couples that didn’t even realized that they just got back to each other.

No formal reconciliations whatsoever…and they’re still going strong as of this very day.

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How To Make Anyone Love You - Make People Chase You Like Crazy And Beg For Attention

So how can you make anyone fall in love with you? Often people think that you need to have some sort of a natural attraction to due to which people would fall in love with you. You see you came to this world empty-handed and this statement about natural attraction is just a myth. We can easily master the skill of making anyone fall in love with you using the right steps. Read on to discover what it really takes to make anyone fall in love with you and achieve earth shattering results fast…..

Genuinely complimented the person at every meeting- This is one of the keys to building natural attraction. You see people like to be around other people who make them feel good about themselves. And what better way to make someone feel good about himself or herself than paying genuine compliments the moment you meet a person. Remember the more you make the other person feel good about himself or herself the more that person would be attracted towards you.

Respect the person irrespective of any labels- Most people in our society and to have this habit of judging people and the only pay respect to a stranger when they realize that the stranger has a special label attached to him. You see we have this strange tendency to form judgments about every person we meet that in the very first few minutes of the conversation and based on that judgment we treat the person. Try not to judge the person at all and admire him or her for whatever they do irrespective of their status in the society. You see this is a very vital part of social dynamics without which you will never be able to get anyone to love you. Also make it count that you show due respect to anyone and everyone every time you meet them.

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Telling Signs That a Man is In Love With You

As women we know that sometimes it can be difficult to determine whether a man is in love with us. Some men just aren’t as forthcoming about their feelings as others. There are some definite signs that a man is in love and once you understand what they are, it’s much easier to gauge how a man is feeling about you.

One of the most obvious signs that a man is in love with you is that he tells you - over and over. Men who are crazy about a woman want to openly express it. For many men, saying those special words doesn’t come easily. Another thing to watch for that suggests that a man has deep feelings is that he wants to make your life better. He’ll ask what he can do to help you in any way, and he’ll do whatever he can to ensure your life is full and happy.

If you hear from him often when you aren’t together that’s a sign that a man is in love with you. Men want to be close to the women they adore and they will often call or email if you two are apart. This applies to when you are in separate cities, but also if you live just a few minutes apart. If he texts you while you are at work, or emails you just to say hi, he has strong feelings for you.

Men who never ask about your life tend to not feel that deeply for you. If a man is in love with you he’ll have a genuine concern for the things you are experiencing. He’ll ask about mundane everyday things and also will be emotionally invested in your life. If a man is willing to drop everything to listen to your problems or help you with something, he has strong feelings for you.

When a man is head over heels for a woman he’ll go out of his way to do things to surprise her. It might be something as simple as bringing her a fresh bouquet of flowers or cooking her dinner. He takes note of the things she enjoys and uses that information to create unique surprises for her. Another of the often overlooked signs that a man is in love with you is that he’ll share his own feelings with you. He’ll talk about his fears and the things that make him happy. A man who isn’t in love may be afraid to be emotionally vulnerable. When a man loves you, he’ll open up to you.

Nothing feels quite as wonderful as knowing you are loved by a man. Even if he doesn’t always verbally express it, recognizing the signs of his devotion can offer you all the reassurance you need.

Specific things you say and do can make a man feel helplessly drawn to you. If you are convinced he is the one there are things you can do to ensure he only has eyes for you.

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10 Signs He’s In Love With You

When you’re involved with a man there’s one question that often pops into your mind and that’s what is he really feeling for you. Not all men are the great communicators we wish they were and it can be difficult to know if his feelings reflect our feelings. When you are wondering about what’s going on in his heart and mind consider the 10 signs that he’s in love with you. Recognizing these can help you determine what he’s really feeling, even if he’s not expressing it clearly.

The most obvious of the 10 signs that he’s in love with you is his desire to spend time with you. When a man is head over heels he’ll find reasons to see the woman he adores. Even if it’s for a mere five minutes at the end of the day, he’ll make the time. On a similar note if he often texts, calls or emails you, he’s got you on his mind. This is another sign that his feelings are pretty intense.

Men are known to be very visual which is why they can’t seem to resist looking when a pretty girl walks by. One of the 10 signs he’s in love with you will be that his interest in others won’t be as piqued. If you two are out together he’ll generally focus mostly on you if he’s in love with you. He’ll also be willing to agree to an exclusive arrangement if he’s falling for you. Don’t be at all surprised if he’s the one to suggest it. If he wants you all to himself, that’s a great sign.

If he constantly wants to hold your hand, kiss you and touch you take that as a sign that he’s falling deeper for you. Although many men aren’t comfortable displaying their affection in public, you may notice him reaching for your hand more often. He’ll also want to pamper you. He may ask if you’ve eaten dinner yet or if you need anything when he calls. This shows he has genuine concern for your well being which always makes a woman feel incredibly special.

Inviting you to meet the people closest to him is one of the 10 signs he’s in love with you. If he wants you to meet his best friend, or his family take that as a step in the right direction. Men typically don’t just bring any girl home with them to meet mom and dad. You should feel honored and touched.

Some men are glued to their television sets at the same time each week to watch their favorite sports team in action. If he wants to do something with you instead of hanging out on the couch, this is great news. He’ll also be interested in your opinion if he’s in love. He’ll want you to choose activities for the two of you. This shows that he wants you to be happy, another sign that he’s developing strong feelings for you.

The last of the signs that a man is in love with you involves him talking about the future. If he suddenly starts talking about where he sees himself in a few years and if he suggests how great it would be to have children with you, he’s fallen in love with you. Listen carefully to everything he says, often his words will reveal exactly what he’s feeling, even if he doesn’t say those three little words directly.

Specific things you say and do can make a man feel helplessly drawn to you. If you are convinced he is the one there are things you can do to ensure he only has eyes for you.

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